I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
