do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
