Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize