We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
