I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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