Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
