At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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