do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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