I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
