Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
