At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
