Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
