So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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