I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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