Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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