i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no you cant smoke seaweed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
