Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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