Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize