Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize