Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
