At least make sure they are 18
Why
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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