There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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