The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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