So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
