when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
