She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
