I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
