and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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