idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
