New invention idea: vibrating tampons
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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