This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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