therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
