Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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