the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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