erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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