Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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