Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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