How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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