Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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