Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
