BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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