im gay
i know
yea but for you.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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