and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
