Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
