she was so not down for the gang bang
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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