Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
