Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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