We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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