i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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