let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
