is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
