tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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