Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
