when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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