Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
