I cockslap morals
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
