honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
