I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That's intense
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
