hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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