I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
