lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
