tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
