Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
